David

[please remember that this was of its time, and may not fully reflect my pov now - and was letter to my pds lawyer, Sophie Barclay. It was originally private communication. I didn't know about abrade towers at the time. I still need to do my arrest story]

25/05/2023

Some further notes as to why I don't want to be entrusted to the care of my family:

Most importantly, I think they want me to lose in both the district court and the family court so that the protection order against me becomes final and I can't easily see Lily anymore. Thereby losing my connection with my daughter. I didn't really want to have Lily, but I don't want to abandon/reject her either.

Here are some more reasons I didn't want to be entrusted to the care of my family

Simple Neglect:

I had inadequate clothing in high school. I had 2 polo shirts, 1 pair of shorts, 2 pairs of socks. No jersey, let alone jacket/trousers. I was so cold in winter. I think it damaged my health and stunted my growth. I complained, asking for more clothes, but nagging was punished harshly in that household. Nagging was defined as "asking more than once for the same thing." My brother had adequate clothing, and my father always had enough money for things like international travel with his 20 y/o japanese girlfriend, but I never had enough clothing.

Cut on leg when in teens while on holiday with my mother. I got a deep gash in my left leg, falling from a tree. I should have been taken to get stitches, but wasn't. Instead, I was pushed to go on bush walks even though bending my left knee reopened the wound. I asked to be allowed time to rest, to let the wound heal, but I was denied that opportunity. I had to walk with a stiff left leg for weeks until it healed.

Had a broken finger in high-school. I wanted an xray, and asked for one, but wasn't taken to get one by my father. So I just had to live with having a broken finger (possible a crush injury?). The finger was originally broken by being slammed in an aluminium door. I think Amanda Ward slammed in the door?

Poisoning

My father once gave me immodium when I had a stomach bug. Caused significant harm to me. Never quite the same after that. Had digestive problems ever since. You're not supposed to give drugs like that to someone with a stomach bug. He said he used it when he had a stomach bug, could eat anything he wanted, including KFC. But I think he lied. I think that it was intentional harm.

Brother once fed me tainted meat in the form of a long expired meat pie in an attempt to give me food poisoning.

Psychological

Gaslit me into thinking that I was molested as a child by my (male) babysitter (I wasn't).

Gaslit me into thinking I was beat up by a bunch of maori kids at the playground ( so that I'd become a bigot, like him). This incident never happened.

He would subtly insinuate that I was gay by comparing me to Freddie Mercury and Adam Lambert. He would expose me to pornographic imagery, presumably in an attempt to try to change what he assumed to be my sexuality!? Maybe my father hated me because I assumed I was gay? Or maybe he insinuated that I was gay because he hated me.

Mental health services, drugs, and my mother

About 11 years ago.. my mother visited, and she pushed me to have some sort of nervous breakdown. I was already in poor physical health and not doing great psychologically as a result of the health situation. Chronic pain, mobility issues etc.

I was bullied into seeing a doctor, even though I don't trust doctors. My mother pushed me to see a doctor that she used to know from back in her Karori Baptist youth group days. The only reason I was willing to see this doctor was that there was a connection to my family. This doctor wanted to prescribe a hefty dose of the antidepressant nortryptaline because I had chronic pain. I told her that I didn't need antidepressants and that antidepressants made me violently suicidal. She ignored my protestations and told me that I had to take them and keep taking them for at least 4-6 weeks before they would really help.

The drugs drove me nuts (as I knew they would). Suicidal ideation etc. After a while, I got pushed by my mother in law to go rk the doctors again (Dr Diane Carter at kys), who prescribed me a large dose of quetapine. And told me that I can take as much of it as I want, and it is fine. Quetapine is NOT a mild, innocuous drug. It is a serious antipsychotic prescribed to people with schizophrenia. I ought not to have been medicated at all. The doctor ought to have stopped all medication. I was also pushed to sign up with Kapiti mental health services, but I managed to avoid this. Mental health services are a scam.

Quetapine can cause issues with muscles, and can cause lasting effects to do with the jaw, lips, and tongue. Diabetes, metabolic changes, weight gain are also significant side effects. It can also damage your balance.

I was never quite the same again after this period of time: physically, mentally, or emotionally.

I think that my family and in-laws may have wanted to drive me nuts so that I'd end up attempting suicide, institutionalized, or drugged out of my mind. And that they may have worked with some doctors (including Diane Carter and ?????? at KYS) to make this happen. I don't have proof. It's just a hunch.

[At the moment, I am operating under the assumption that my daughter (Lily) is a 'test tube baby,' conceived by means of IVF, using my sperm, a donor egg, and Amanda as a surrogate. This was done without my knowledge or consent. I don’t yet have full evidence for this, but I'm working on it. (Why do I think that Lily is a test tube baby? Amanda seemed to become pregnant while on holiday, with a baby that's not white, and a positive paternity DNA test means I'm the father. By deduction: I arrive at the conclusion that Lily must have been conceived by means of IVF.)]

I didn't really want to have Lily, but I still care about her... I'm not really sure what to do. I didn't consent to her creation, but nor did she consent to be born (none of us do). And just because she's not what I expected or asked for, it doesn't mean I want to just throw her under the bus. A child ought to have a father who cares about them and who has good intentions. I don't really know where things stand legally.

Why I lost all faith in my father:

1. Incident of inappropriate touching against a 12 year old girl at a school camp. There was a complaint made against him, which was withdrawn. However, he was smeared as a pedophile among students at my school, which led to a situation where I was somewhat ostracized.

2. Tomoe Takahashi

Dated our former Japanese exchange student. I saw her as a sister. I was disgusted by this.

3. Assault on 25th. Also told me, "I hate you." And threatened to have me put in an asylum if i didn't start doing what I was told.

Other misc notes re: Amanda

Amanda Pranks:

I woke up in the morning to find that Amanda had damaged my bedroom wall overnight.

I once woke up with hair thin scratches beneath my right eye

Objects moved overnight, or light switched on overnight, even though Amanda wasn't even staying at the house.

Found a piece of glass in my morning cup of tea

Phone moved from under my pillow onto my chest while I was napping in bed during the day, even though Amanda not home

Amanda Phone hacking:

Harmless pranks, like putting the album "music to be murdered by" into my library...

Amanda has set traps of glass, crockery, and toothpicks. I cut my foot quite badly on one of these traps of glass. Geraldine, a nurse, helped me clean my foot afterwards. I showed my father at least one of these sharp items (the crockery).

Lesley once pointed a handgun at me. I think that it may have been a glock. She said that it belonged to Shane Huston, formerly of the NZDF.

Notes re: health

My health has been ruined by means of:

Inappropriate healthcare

Deliberately shoddy healthcare

Neglect, abuse

Intentional poisoning (immodium)

Outright quackery (Alexander technique, feldenkrais, craniosacral therapy)

And then it has been labeled "chronic fatigue syndrome." If there was a deliberate conspiracy, then I don't know how it all worked.

I have also been exploited for reproductive purposes to create a child that I didn't ask for, with a woman I don't consider fit to be a mother. I was so ashamed when she fell pregnant (this was before I suspected IVF) No child deserves to have Amanda as her mother.

List of doctors/medical professionals involved in my "care":

Diane Carter

Amanda Clarke

Ruth Brown

David Waite

Paul Davis

Peter Roberts

Rebbekka Lam

Kate Fairbrother

Yunyee Tseto

Janet Turnbull

Gayle Snyder

Nathan Scott

Multiple physiotherapists/occupational therapists

One counselor

Misc Notes:

My father likes to engage in what I have labeled "psycho-social warfare." Other people might call it "playing games."

Japanese have a saying that, "The nail that sticks out gets hammered down."

I think that this is his attitude towards me. I used to have an enormous amount of natural academic ability, particularly in areas like mathematics. I wanted to be a scientist, but my father said no. But I don't think he wanted me to succeed. He just wanted to destroy me.

For what it's worth, there have been people in my life who tried to help me fit in and find a place where I might somehow belong. For example, my grandfather tried to encourage me to become an academic (against my father's wishes). He also...

Ag. Go

Gp. F